I probably shouldn't even be talking about this.

Have you ever been so scared that you didn't even know what to do with yourself? Maybe I'm paranoid, but don't I have every right to be? Every girl in the world worries about this. Why did he think I was so weird for being cautious? I just can't wait to find out for sure. Get this weight lifted off my shoulders...or start to take action against it. I will be the most hated person in Bastrop if this ends up taking a turn for the worst. But I don't care. My views have been made obvious in the past...it should be no surprise to anyone. I should have just stood up for myself in the first place and done what I had originally planned to do. Because I can't handle the stress of having to worry about this. I just need to know for sure. Very soon. Otherwise I don't know what I'm going to do with myself. Every day, it's all I think about. I'm going insane. I need to start talking about this with my friends, though. I've never kept anything to myself for this long. I need input, feedback, advice. So if anyone is reading this...and you are willing to listen to me rant about things you may not agree with...please contact me. I desperately need it.

You probably have made a pretty good guess as to what this is about. Just please...someone help me.