Complete devastation. Disaster of biblical proportions. So much change in just a matter of hours. The days to come are a mystery. Homeless. A word that normally has little meaning. But now it is a reality. Flames took everything. Burned entire lives. No one deserves this horrid nightmare. Utter chaos. Fear, uncertainty, panic. And we can't even return...not that we really are looking forward to doing so.
My thoughts make no sense, because none of this makes any sense. How is it even possible that so many fires sprung up in so many places on a single day? If there's a God, and this is him trying to play some sick joke..it's not funny. But I'm pretty sure I already know that's not the case.
If there's anyone playing a sick joke, it's some sick twisted person who may have had something to do with all this.
My emotions are running wild...I can't even begin to fathom anything right now. I'm waiting to wake up, safe and sound in my own bed...knowing that this was all just a horrible nightmare.
All I have to my name is the clothes on my back, one pair of pajamas, and a few toiletries. I'm thankful that I had been spending the night at my stepdad's the night before...because if I hadn't been...I wouldn't even have that.
My eyes burn from the smoke in the air...I have a horrid headache from crying all day. I cannot even imagine what tomorrow holds. I feel as if this day will never end.
I go to sleep now, with high hopes of waking in my own bed in the morning...but I'm sure reality will set in soon enough.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Friday, September 2, 2011
Things are changing...more quickly than I'd like
Well, still no luck on the job search. But other areas of my life are changing very quickly.
I've gone 18 years with almost no affection from the opposite sex...(well, or the same sex.) And now, all of a sudden...there are multiple people who are just showing interest out of nowhere.
One in particular has me perplexed. I have known this person for multiple years...but before all this started, I've barely said two words to them. Now all of a sudden, they're informing me that they are attracted to me. Which I find odd, because this person usually hangs around people who are far more attractive than myself. My first thought is that this person is being immature, and is leading me on for no apparent reason. My more likely theory is that this person has lowered their standards immensely in an effort to "get laid." Either way...I'm just so uneasy about the whole situation. I don't know what to think, or what to do.
I'm over-analyzing the situation, of course. I'm a woman...that's what we do.
But I still feel so awkward...like this isn't real. Like I don't deserve anything like this, even though it's not what you're thinking, anyway.
Over-analyzing,
Self-conscious,
Inconclusive,
Indecisive,
Confused.
I've gone 18 years with almost no affection from the opposite sex...(well, or the same sex.) And now, all of a sudden...there are multiple people who are just showing interest out of nowhere.
One in particular has me perplexed. I have known this person for multiple years...but before all this started, I've barely said two words to them. Now all of a sudden, they're informing me that they are attracted to me. Which I find odd, because this person usually hangs around people who are far more attractive than myself. My first thought is that this person is being immature, and is leading me on for no apparent reason. My more likely theory is that this person has lowered their standards immensely in an effort to "get laid." Either way...I'm just so uneasy about the whole situation. I don't know what to think, or what to do.
I'm over-analyzing the situation, of course. I'm a woman...that's what we do.
But I still feel so awkward...like this isn't real. Like I don't deserve anything like this, even though it's not what you're thinking, anyway.
Over-analyzing,
Self-conscious,
Inconclusive,
Indecisive,
Confused.
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