What did I ever do to anyone? I try my hardest to be a nice person. I try my hardest to be a good friend to everyone. But all I'm ever able to do is offend people. I can't control what my sense of humor is like. People used to love my crude humor and rantings. What happened? All of a sudden I'm nothing but an asshole...
I always feel like I'm not able to be myself. Like I always have to watch what I say, and that if I say the wrong thing, everyone will hate me. I miss the days when I could just be myself and that was good enough. Why is it that all of a sudden everything I say is out of line? I can't make a joke anymore without someone jumping on me about it. I can't even share my opinions without there being a huge controversy.
I just want to be able to talk and joke with people like I used to. It was the best part of my life, having friends who I could share my thoughts, opinions, and sick jokes with. But now...it's like they're all too good for me.
I partially blame it on this fucking small town. Being stuck in this small town is like being in a glass case at a museum. Everyone is constantly judging everyone else, and there are no secrets.
I'm sick of being judged. It seems like school started this year, and all of a sudden I was an untouchable. Just because I'm not in school and I'm having trouble getting a job doesn't make me a bad person. It's like all these high school kids think that I'm a failure or something...that's the way they're treating me. I'm so sick of being treated this way. Every time I share my opinion or thoughts with someone, I'm kicked to the curb and ignored...or criticized until there's a pit in my stomach.
I'm sure if anyone reads this, they'll tell me I need to change. Fuck you. I like myself, and I don't want to change. They say you have to like yourself before others can like you. Well, I do like myself. So what the fuck is wrong with you?
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