I've gotten to the age where I shouldn't give a fuck about what people think anymore. What is keeping me from going after what I want? Why am I still so concerned about what people will think of me? I'm not in high school anymore. I should be past all that drama and bullshit. I want to do what will make me happy. I know that if I decide to pursue this, and I succeed, people WILL say things about me...but why does this bother me in the least? If I already accept that as an inevitability, I shouldn't be concerned about the outcome.
I have liked this boy for an entire year and some change. He has liked me for the same amount of time. Society has kept us apart for whatever reason. It's like...forbidden love. I only wish this were a fairy tale, and that a happy ending was in order. I just cannot control my endless attraction to this boy. He tells me he loves me, and he's just the sweetest thing. I want to try to have a relationship with him...to see where it goes. I simply cannot help thinking about all of our mutual friends that wouldn't accept it. Because I'm sure that 90% of them will make some sort of snide remark.
Not to mention, I don't even know if he wants a relationship right now. He's told me that once before...I don't know how he feels about it now.
I just can't help but wonder, what if...?
What if things would finally feel right?
And even if they didn't...at least I could lift this weight off of my shoulders.
(No one even knows who this is about. Not one single person. That is so extremely unusual for me. I'm an open fucking book.)
No comments:
Post a Comment