When you go, just know that I will remember you.

Watching others' lives go by is not a pretty sight. The friends I've held dear to my heart are moving on, right before my eyes. The selfish part of me wants them not to go...it wants them to stay here with me. Things were just starting to get good...


Now, I'm sitting at a crossroads, with roadblocks all around, while everyone else seems to have a clear pathway. This isn't the worst situation to be in...but everything is just too still. All this time, constant motion. Then suddenly, a screeching halt. New doors should be opening, but here I sit in this room, with no immediate hopes of getting out.

Windows and doors are out of reach.

Does everything truly happen for a reason? Was I somehow meant to be left behind? Every part of me hopes that isn't true. I have so many hopes and dreams that have yet to be fulfilled. So many adventures that have yet to be had.

Oftentimes, I try to blame others for my misfortune, but most of the things that are happening are all my fault. Things could have been different, had I been more determined. Things could have been different, had I realized what I would be missing. Things could have been different, if I had even wanted them to be.

Irrational fear of change,

Longing for excitement,

Lack of determination,

Conflicting emotions,

Procrastination, & a

One-track mind.